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today. downtown to meet eric. went early to run some errands. applied for three jobs. have to wait to hear about two, one got rejected from outright. oh well. bought a bathing suit, oddly untraumatic. also got sandals, a summer dress and some jeans. all good things, things i needed. went o meet eric at appointed time and place. stood on street corner, in sandals and no jacket, on blustery, cold june afternoon. for fortyfive minutes. nothing. i finally left because i was sick of not being able to feel my toes. my hands wouldn't bend correctly either, so i figured it was time to be inside. punk. punk punk punk. punk. and steph got a job at home depot. i didn't. beginning to think i will have to start selling off plasma and internal organs. or turning tricks. it doesn't cost anything, and you don't need much rxperience or references. i don't know why i'm so anxious about being unemployed. i just hope this isn't prophetic of the future, this inability to get a job. i'm not all that picky, or anything. so long as i get paid. and sooner or later my body is just going to mutiny. not that i'd blame it. or mind, for that matter.it might be for the best