JESUS

ahhhh! well now i remember why i stopped watching the evening news. the horror, the horror. i can't even begin to express my confusion and frustration seeing the violence in this sordid world. there must be something, something i can do, because i simply cannot watch. I can hardly watch at all and i can't just watch and not be move to act....somehow. Biblical justice, it seems has returned to the middle east, an eye for an eye anyone? Now, tonight, tomorrow, at least sixteen palestinians will die in retribution for the sixteen israelis. and the night after that, vice versa. i think i'm beginning to detect a pattern here. it's funny( in the squeamish, deadly earnest sort of way) to think of how a film i just saw portrayed Vietnamese suicide bombers as fighting desperately back with the only resources available, yet a similar view of palestinians is terribly incorrect. politically of course. grrrr. and it seems even the dutch can't restrain themselves any longer, stooping to political violence as well. though really all violence is political in some way. Its nights like these that remind me of one of Fr V's homilies about gratitude. be grateful for all God's gifts, all of them. Neuroses, praise the lord. Intact family, praise the lord. the love of friends and family, praise the lord. Eating disorders, praise the lord. i am reminded to be gratefull for allllll that i have, however mixed i may consider my blessings. after all, it could be worse. it could be raining. it is somewhere. somewhere someone's relatives are gathering their scattered remains. i can't explain why that somewhere is somplace else, and not here, nor will i understand it. perhaps that grace(because grace is the ultimate why) is a commission. perhaps not. but because i can't know that either, i'd rather accept the commission and live to prove myself worth of it.