sympathy

it's a wonderful thing to be sympathetic to other people and their situations. truly it is. but at the same time, sometimes its hard to handle when other people symapathize with you. at first it's alright, sort of comforting. but it doesn't go that far in terms of making you feel better. It's like junk food, satisfying only in the short term. after a while you get sick of pats on the back, even sick of hugs, because what you're really looking for is some sort of understanding. but i suppose we're all looking for that. perhaps that search is fruitless. can anyone truly understand someone else? good question, though really i'd be satisfied with the illusion of being understood, which is probably all that i could get anyhow. blah, how typically adolescent am I. "No one understands me! rest assured, i know my worries, dilemmas, angst etc are not unique. I'm sure they're all fairly straightforward and teenaged. in all likelihood, i'm probably not all that difficult to figure out. it's just that the view from the inside is harder to decode. my perspective on myself is necessarily skewed. But maybe that's ok. i need some of my illusions just to get up in the morning. like factory workers need their ear plugs and stock yard workers start to lose their sense of smell. like we all need faith to get us through the day, not necessarily faith in God or an ultimate truth, but faith that the other cars will stop when they have a red light, and faith that the elevator cable will hold, and etc. ( speaking of faith.... how about that idea of an afterlife. I'm Roman catholic and all, but sometimes i don't know...life is so tiring, who has the energy for an afterlife. i mean heaven sounds nice and all, but wouldn't it be nice if it could just all ....stop....total oblivion sounds awfully restful. simply ceasing to exist at all, except of course, as worm food and then as the component minerals of your body. sounds quite nice actually)